Time

1935
Craven is a little boy.
He can't seem to wake up on time for school everyday, not because he could not, but because he would not.
His mother always had too wake him up in the morning with empty threats.
As empty as the threats were, they always seemed to work.
Seemed because they weren't long term solutions to the problem.
Everyday Craven would wake up scared at the thought of being kicked out of the house at the age of 8, as what could an 8 year old boy do?
His mom looked at him and said "You can spend money and get it back, you can do something wrong and earn forgiveness, but you will never be able to take back time".
He then stopped and took what his mom said to heart.
From that day on Craven was always on time.
............. 1968
Dorothy is 12 years old and about to enter middle school.
About should actually be more like unlikely.
She refuses to go to the same school as the evil little "monster girls" that plagued her during grade school.
Her father being 41 years old at the time had gone through all the worries a young child had gone through.... Most certainly bullies.
Dorothy is forced in her fathers car.
As her father parks his car Dorothy starts to whine.
The father then looks at the daughter and says:
"You do not know what it feels like to stand in front of a crowd ,minutes away from delivering a speech, the most important speech you will ever give, with your future, your families future all on the line". "You don't know how nerve wrecking it is to do that not once but almost everyday of your life". "Yes I may not know what it feels like to be bullied by teenage girls". "But I know things far worse, things that I don't want to do, but do because I have to".
Dorothy was then hugged.
And all her worries went away.
........ 1991
Dorothy is now 35 years old.
She has just left the hospital after having given birth to her 1st child
A girl named Carrol, after her favorite author.
As she steps in her car she can't help but remember that one faithful day.
The day that as a kid she had complained to her father about going to school.
Her father had gently put her in her place.
Then afterwards gently hugged her.
She then thought of all the moments she would be able to share with her little Carrol.
The good.
The bad.
And those moments of wisdom.
She remembered her father.
If she had a boy she would wish that her son would be exactly like her father.
The man who raised her up to be the woman she was.
......... 2011
It was a day of mourning.
As Carrol walked up the hospital steps in the quickest of fashion.
Not caring for how she looked.
She finally spotted the the room she was looking for.
Inside her father was consoling her mother.
Upon realizing their daughter was standing in front of them they gave her the news.
Her grandfather had just passed away.
He lived for 84 years and in that time she had only really known him for 16 years.
And the memories started all coming back.
Her first Football game.
Her first boyfriend.
Her first dance.
Her high school graduation.
All those important moments in her life he had been there for her.
Then the tears started falling.
She realized her grandfather would never see her graduate College.
He would not be there for her first job.
Or worst of all he wouldn't be there for her wedding day.
As the tears filled her face her father went to her and hugged her.
Her father tried to console her.
But the words never got to her.
All she wanted to do was remember all the times with her grandfather.
The good.
The bad.
All the important moments.
The only thing she heard her father say was that "it was grandpa Craven's time"
With that she looked at her parents and hugged them, all while remembering her grandfather.

Chaos

I am sitting in a room trying to read a book. Wanting nothing but to understand motives of the people in the story. As it happens I am in a room with friends, talking, yelling, enjoying. I can not read, I can not understand. While all this is happening I see a window, As I look out the window expecting to see calm warm wind, all I can see is cold, fast, chaos. Chaos is a word deemed to judge something with absolutely no order, and without order there can be no peace. So it is safe to say that there is no peace when there is chaos. As I stare at the harsh (presumably) cold wind blow against the trees, I see my internal struggle play out right before my eyes. Right now I can't seem to find any inner peace. Peace is absolute, peace is no problems, peace is warmth. I can not seem to find warmth, now I am writing this as I am seated in an air-conditioned school so my plight which is completely figurative seems to have taken shape quite literally. Back to making sense, as I look at the window with trees being pulled away by the cold harsh wind, I can't help but remember all the noise that is ever present in my life. Noise that has no reason to be, noise that I can completely deal without, noise that I can find no order in. This lack of peace has me at the precipice, overlooking the violent, red, fire that is my desire, my anger, my rage. For with no peace I am left with my own chaos, chaos that consumes my everyday life, chaos that only calms with rest. I feel the need for warmth, not heat; order, not chaos. As I stare at the window, with the trees being yanked to the left, and as I stare at the precipice over looking all the emotions boiling inside of me, comes something unexpected: warmth. And as the warmth fills my mind I find myself in thought, thought that has me finding beauty. Beauty in the chaos,beauty in what is essentially life. Life which constantly tugs at you, pulling you two sometimes three ways all at once. And as this warmth, this knowledge falls on me I find something even more unexpected: peace. The peace that can only be found in life, harshness, anger, cold, violence, and most importantly chaos. Inner peace, the very thing that I thought impossible to achieve, finally hitting me. And then I look at the window. The wind has stopped blowing. The air seems warm. I look around me. People are gone. Noise is gone. Chaos is gone. Loneliness is what I should be feeling. I am in an empty room. But instead of loneliness I feel....... Relaxed, I feel as if with the people all the worries, problems, hate, anger, all of it are gone. Peace in loneliness, such a cruel way to find what you want. Yet as is life